Looking for…Something

A new semester is about to begin, but I will not be teaching this time around. Instead, I am joining a host of other Americans looking for full time employment. As much as I enjoy teaching theology as an adjunct instructor, I cannot give the time and attention required for large classes while searching for a job that comes with benefits. Perhaps the opportunity to return to the university classroom will come again. Meanwhile, I am searching the Internet for openings and filling out applications.

This exercise requires me to revisit my educational background and employment history time after time. I imagine the application of a once stay-at-home mom who worked at a variety of part time jobs while keeping the home-fires burning looks different from those filled out by career people who have lost their jobs to downsizing and the poor economy.
When my children were younger, I created positions that enabled me to use my gifts and education to bring in some extra money while being home when my daughters were: I worked in schools an enrichment teacher and summers in a program for elementary students run by a local college branch. Later I worked as an adult educator in grant-funded jobs that served the poor and marginalized populations.

While working at those jobs and being the primary parent at home, I managed to write and publish four books and numerous magazine articles as well as to maintain a monthly column for over twenty years. I gave retreats and did some public speaking, but now, thirty-some years later; I can no longer afford positions that count on the employee not being the primary economic support. I suppose those who can teach as adjuncts or in GED/ABLE programs all have other jobs or a spouse that brings home the benefits.

Each time I read through my CV, the variety of jobs and accomplishments surprise me. I packed a lot into the past thirty years. I hope not too much, or too wide a variety to attract a future employer. I don’t have ten or twelve years in any one place except my home.

I am also filling out applications for graduate school. While working with abused women, I knew they needed more than academic instruction that would enable them to earn a GED and maybe find a job. Many needed counseling that could help them heal and regain self-esteem and confidence. The autumn may find me entering a university not as an instructor, but as a student in a social work program that would prepare me to offer such counseling.

During this process, I have discovered that my many and varied experiences have prepared me well to face an unknown future. Raising children helps one become flexible. Any parent can tell you that what you expect to happen often doesn’t and you need to be able to change plans at a moment’s notice. When disappointment shows its face or illness derails schedules, the parent (Still often the mother) supports and reschedules.

I have learned trust. Not only from times when challenges that seemed insurmountable faded into the past, but also when jobs I loved disappeared along with the funding that made them possible. Trust that something else would turn up finally enabled me to let go of worry and sleep when I could not imagine what the next job might be.

I have also learned openness. A teaching certificate does not necessarily mean a classroom position, but it can help snag an opportunity that results from creative thinking and awareness not so much of what is but rather of what could be.

I don’t know what I will be doing in a few months, but whatever it is, I am confident it will be interesting, demanding, service oriented, and likely, not what I expect!

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